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Communication Skill and the 8
Active Listening Secrets
"I like to listen. I have learned a great deal
from listening carefully. Most people never
listen."
Ernest Hemingway
If everyone would just develop this one
communication skill, most communication problems
would disappear. If you are honest with
yourself, the last time you got into a
misunderstanding with someone, it was because
you weren't really listening to what they said.
Active listening is a communication skill that
is easy to learn and valuable in all areas of
life. Remember, you can't learn something new
while you are talking - only when you listen can
you learn. Here are some pointers to becoming an
active listener:
1. If you are not really sure you understand
what the other person is saying, try repeating
what they said back to them, in a slightly
different way: "So, what you're saying is...."
You'll soon know whether or not you understood.
2. Many of us have the habit of planning in our
head what we'll say next instead of listening to
what the person is saying. Use eye contact as
often as possible. It's a good way to avoid
drifting away in thought.
3. Keep an open mind. Be willing to compromise
or be flexible with any alternate solutions the
person might be offering.
4. Make sure you completely understand what the
person is conveying before you respond. Don't
just blurt out the first thing that pops into
your mind. Use self-control.
5. Responding is a way of using the facts and
your feelings to add to the conversation. It is
a communication skill that can help you avoid
possible conflicts. It's better to respond to
what someone is saying than to react.
6. Since we understand that people want to be
heard, you can show them that you are paying
attention, by adding things like: " I'm
interested in what you just said. Can you tell
me about what lead to your believing that?"
7. Remember that what someone is saying and what
we hear can sometimes be remarkably different!
Our personal beliefs, judgements and assumptions
can sometimes distort what the other person is
really trying to say. Restate what you think you
just heard to clarify.
8. Make notes if you are listening on the phone.
Not having the eye contact and maybe other
distractions may affect how well you listen.
Keeping notes will help you to ask any questions
you might need to.
Listening is a valuable communication skill. All
you have to do is remember a time when you felt
that a person wasn't really listening to you, to
understand the importance of listening.
Source: Free Articles
About the Author
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He
recently produced a very popular free report: 10
Simple Steps to Developing Communication
Confidence. Apply now because it is available
only at: http://www.communicationtalk.com/
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